Log in

don't laugh at a youth for her affectations [entries|friends|calendar]

info | myspace | gj pix | my gj | multiply
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

i am le tired [Tuesday
November 22nd, 2016 ]
[ mood | tired ]

time to start anew... to my utter dismay.

friends only yo and i would like to leave it that way.
12 tried | do your worst

September 20th, 2012 ]
[ mood | blah ]

as disheartening as it is to receive an email or call about not landing a job,
it still gives off a sense of closure.
do your worst

a temporary goodbye for BLEACH [Saturday
August 4th, 2012 ]
[ mood | grateful ]

I finally got around to finishing the Bleach anime series after putting it off for so long for fear I'd be feel as bad as I did when the "Arrancar arc" ended. Except I didn't, but instead was completely taken by surprise with how not entirely shitty the "Fullbring arc" actually is; it couldn't have been a more appropriate point in the story the anime series could have ended at. Studio Pierrot, TV Tokyo, Kubo Tite played it all out really well.

8 years of following the series, and I have no regrets about watching it even with its lulls and fillers. While I would love to see the anime back on someday and hear all those talented voice actors again, the manga is still running.

Plus, I finally found my favorite version of Ichigo's theme "Number One" by Hazel Fernandes. yeahbuddy.

EDIT: the more sentimental version of above-written
Finally got around to finishing the Bleach anime series.

All 8 years it was on the air, I'd streamed, downloaded, and/or torrented all its 366 episodes and 4 films. With its original manga running its supposedly final arc, it was startling to realize that I'd been following something for that long. And although the prospect of the anime returning hasn't been completely shut down, I will eventually figuratively and literally have to turn that last page.

Just as people associate milestones in their lives with books, music, movies, and television shows, I associate a huge part of my identity [and shaping it] with my anime-viewing/manga-reading experience -- encounters with fellow fans included. Over the years it's become more than just a hobby, so much so that I still can't manage to find the words to describe how it began to and continues to enrich my world.

I'm incredibly grateful that people I love accept this side of me that other people could easily misconstrue as just being a "geek" or an "otaku".

do your worst

July 20th, 2012 ]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I come across as facetious in my indifference towards my being unemployed and my continued stalled-education state. Admittedly, I have never felt the need to defend my being so, and any expectation for an explanation will only prove to be a futile effort.

I believe in the bigger picture; the world doesn’t move at my benefit or my expense or anyone else’s. That’s not to say my concerns carry greater weight than most others’.

My desire to see and explore the world is undeterred. With open eyes and an open mind, I strive to look at the world beyond the negativity and strife showcased in the news day after day as if framed to feed oil to the already ferocious fire of fear we are drowning in, outside the violence, the money woes, the otherwise superficial.

No, I have not given up the possibility of continuing my education. In fact, I am learning even now. I am adamant in my stance that a person need not be limited to the confines of an institution to earn an education and measure their intellect according to numbers and letters. Unfortunately a person’s worth is measured by a degree they’ve earned, the amount of money they can make based on that degree earned, the title they carry to their name, the materials they possess, the number of people and the kind of people they associate themselves with. A person’s worth is rarely ever measured anymore by their fervor in allowing themselves to mingle and experience our surroundings as they are and adapting to it. Should a person’s worth even be measured at all?

Does that make me delusional? An idealist? A realist? I have long since been regarded a cynic, and not baselessly. In trying to discover the “good” in society, I find myself disappointed - most of all in myself - that I can’t be bothered to express my intent, my hopes, and to instill my own beliefs onto others. I instead expend energy to roll my eyes at how conformably people go about their daily lives as if according to the saying “live to work, or work to live” and no longer being able to discern one from the other.

In that respect, who is really looking down on whom? Me on them, the societal robotic sheep? Them on me, a degree-less commentating (whining) voyeur? Who is in a more pitiful state of being and state of mind? Is it simply relative?

Perpetually grateful for the privileges I’ve been granted and exposed to, I intend to pay forward and return the favor with utmost ability but in my own time and my own way.

What I want to achieve, I can’t put into words. I wouldn’t know what to tell you if you were to ask me what my plans are for the coming months or years, but I want peace of mind. My peace of mind is solely mine, and not even a piece of my mind will appease as a sufficient explanation I am certain. Who do I want to give me a pat on the back? Do I even need and want a pat on the back? My fulfillment is completely irrelevant to any definition of fulfillment and not dependent on a set sense of satisfaction. I do not want to gauge my self-satisfaction on any criteria for a fulfilled life. I don’t want my “happiness” based on and measured up against anybody’s.

Who’s to say what gratification really is unless it stems from your own selfish endeavors.

do your worst

it's aliiiiiiive...? [Thursday
July 5th, 2012 ]
[ mood | thirsty ]

It may come as a shock, but I am considering reviving my livejournal. Even though I could just as easily make better use of my tumblr or blogspot, I feel more accustomed to the simplicity and familiarity of lj's interface.

what brought this on you might ask? whoever you may be.

You could say it's the myriad of anime blogs I find myself reading most days.

One in particular now-defunct "2-D Teleidescope" addressed its readers with a question: "How has anime enriched your world?" I could cut and paste from excerpts and expound but that wouldn't be fair to my own possible response, that is, if i were to attempt to verbalize all these years'-worth of internalized fangirling.

Anime has enriched my world in more ways than any non-anime-fan/layman could even imagine. So much so that I pray every day I could pursue this hobby in a more productive manner.

Oh how I wish I'd have earned a degree by now and pursued a career within the gaming and/or animation and/or publishing industry.

do your worst

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]